That’s right I got on eharmony. Spent a few hours filling out the questions and low and
behold here come the matches and the clumsy humiliation. The first few matches it’s fun to look
at pictures and lament with your friends over the inept pictures straight men
put on a dating website. Pictures
with other women seriously if it’s your family make a caption, if not you
really think I want to date you and your brood. Hell no. The
awkward poses at theme parks with either Donald Duck or Chuckie, yes the serial
killing doll. A close match immediately
situation. The inability to
successfully work photo shop by cropping the latest or long ago girlfriend out
of the travel pic. Did you really
think we couldn’t see those wisps of hair next to your face and shoulder raised
as if over someone else? The buddy
shots with your crew and an insane amount of drinks in hand, yes we want you to
be social but more than one of those, I feel like I will be dating you and
having to take care of your friends.
The most horrific is the cell phone picture in the mirror. Seriously!!! You would be shocked it’s not just one or two it’s about
every fifth guy that has a picture like this. Have they not seen the news that
those shots are always linked to a sex scandal? It is not okay, really it’s frightening
and all I can think is crap they have my picture, ew. Onto the matching, Seattle is a big enough city I really
didn’t consider that I would get matched with people I know. Oh yes the mortification has begun, in
less than one week I was matched with two people I knew and a friends
brother. Yep they looked at my
profile and of course they know it’s me.
One I definitely had to email and find a way to make it less awkward. We are obviously not close enough to
call but we know quite a few mutual people, several who know my ex, and if I
don’t own this and make it a non-issue I am sure he will share it with
others. I have to face this. I email him and laugh it off with
asking him to advise me on my eharmony innocence and needing an e-wingman. After several “matches’ have attempted
to contact me I only keep less then a handful in my reserve and decide if those
choice few make some sort of virtual attempt, I will respond. One does so we exchange an email or
two, then a second. The second man happens to
know something about my weekend that I hadn’t shared with him and all I can do
is freak over how we may know each other.
He tells me it was actually his friend the only other man I had emailed
on eharmony. How does this happen?
The only two guys I have exchanged emails with are buddies. I am not cut out for this. What happened to the days when a guy
buys a girl a drink or stops her on the street or just asks for her number? Okay I get that was 14 years ago and
things have changed but my start in this virtual dating realm does not seem to
be going so well.
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