After making the immediate decision to divorce and move, before I even started packing, I began looking for a new bed. Although I had no idea how much money I would need to fund a new living arrangement, moving and legal fees I bought a new bed. In less than a week I bought a beautiful white velvet tufted headboard with clean lines. It’s feminine and modern and the first time in over 14 years (I had a 7 year relationship before the husband) I bought a bed that was just for me! There were no questioning thoughts about would “he” like it, would it work for “both” of us. It was all me. After the move came the purchase of new linens, I don’t think “she” ever stayed at our house but his skuzzy ass was in those sheets and there is not enough bleach in the world that could get his cheater cooties out of them. I wanted my bed to be my new sanctuary and I went with the 600 thread count sheets and a gorgeous new duvet set. A light airy grey with enormous white and lime green chrysanthemum flowers. Yep I bought linens with flowers! Again modern and stylish but a little feminine too and not a thought to what “he” would think. The next purchase shoes, unfortunately for me it wasn’t the Blahnik’s or Choo’s but a good running shoe. I needed some way to channel the frantic, nervous and angry energy, for me that was getting outside running or walking. The final and probably most important new everyday purchase lingerie. I have always loved bras and panties, matching sets and my sets were nice not overly sexy but sweet. As with most women having a beautiful set on hidden underneath my clothes, which no one could see, gave me a slight edge and confidence throughout my day. I will admit being married and in a long term relationship that desire faltered a bit. I wasn’t wearing grandma panties but a more sensible bra that held me a little more closely. They were in no way hideous or cotton high-rise white, but the everyday you never know what may happen in lust dating thong only appeared at the married date night and special occasions. I get that I own this part of our disconnect but it seems pretty normal to gradually mature in my underwear choices as I mature in age to a cute cheek covering option. Making the lingerie purchase being alone, separated and currently choosing not to date, this purchase is just for me and whatever makes me happy. I like the feeling of confidence and now I don’t know what may happen through my day. What if there is an accident and a cute fire fighter or EMT needs to treat me for who knows what. Being married I gave up on those crazy improbabilities and thought my husband loved me for me and didn’t worry about what type of underwear I had on, if in an accident. Now it’s all changed again. What if I run into an incredible looking Italian business entrepreneur who adores me but must catch his flight the next day? Alright, it totally won’t happen but a single girl should always be prepared. All of these items are materialistic and not absolutely necessary compared to a good mediator, paralegal, therapist and court fees. Throughout these few months these gifts to surround my everyday in what makes me happy provides me with smiles, confidence and contentment. A run in with a cute firefighter wouldn’t hurt either.
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