So this is happy :)

Back into my daily routine after several trips, I get up early play with the dog at the beach and hit yoga.  Then off to work where I am being creative and challenged all in good ways.  After work hooking up with friends, family, neighbors and dates.  I am the one next to you on the freeway rocking out in my car, singing in the shower, dancing at the bowling alley, endlessly laughing and smiling.  And of course there was that really fun make out session.  In therapy the other day I mentioned that I thought I might be walking down a bad path of being immature, irresponsible, not focusing on the future or possibly reliving my early 20’s.  My therapist laughed and said you aren’t doing drugs, you aren’t abusing alcohol, you have an incredible career, a strong network of family and friends, take care of your furry dependents and financial obligations….did you happen to think that you just might be happy.  You are living in the present.  There is a feeling of enlightenment and it finally hits me, this is what all the ancient proverbs, yoga books and many writers attempt to describe.  Of course the over comfy couches, the warm room and I start tearing up.  How could I have forgotten what true happiness felt like?  How could I have gone so long on edge in a strange paradigm that was my artificial marriage?  Imagine spending one more minute, even one more second in my unbeknownst sham of a world and missing out on these moments.  It hurt like hell to find out, my now ex-husband, had an eight month affair and cheated throughout our relationship.  It has been embarrassing, shameful and I still hate that I was so naïve.  Throughout this horrible journey I knew that discovering the infidelity was the best thing that could have ever happened.  I never knew it would lead me here to happy, an old friend I had lost for quite sometime.  Living in the present is a true gift and yes, ultimately would like a partner, another house to call mine, and of course kids.  But right now I am joyful and know true happiness.  Thank you again to my incredible family and friends, you mean the world to me.  That’s right happiness and I are back together again. We just friended each other on facebook and we’ll be posting our instagram photos together soon.  I think the toaster filter will capture this occasion perfectly.