Twitter me this twitter me that.

I obsessed over their tweets for a few weeks.  I didn’t post anything on his twitter feed.  I wanted him to pay for my life to be shipped to a safe place and not ask for what he didn’t deserve, my savings.  I did tweet on her posts regularly for those first few weeks, my handle The1Wife.  On the picture of my husband and her best friend with the “loves of my life” caption my response “the love of your life is married, oh wait you knew that before you slept with him”.  When she posted about being hit on by a less than desirable guy I wrote, “don’t forget married men, oops actually you choose them”.  There were more but I never called her names, I only posted about what she had done.  It still makes me smile and the fact that it took her a month to figure out how to privatize her posts, speaks to her intelligence.  My therapist never encouraged me to look or post but she validated my feelings of anger and hurt.  It was a relief to hear that my behavior was completely normal and she said actually surprisingly “nice” comparatively to what others have done.  My thoughts were absolutely maniacal and bitchy, I had dreams of going to their office and making some sort of scene.  My favorite idea was to have balloons sent to each of them on the same day that said “congratulations”.  His note would have said, “congrats on finding a new babysitter” and hers would have said, “congrats on sleeping with my husband, I am sure your friends, family and co-workers are so proud”.  It would have been funny but I didn’t do it.  It’s money that I could spend on a facial, new boots or a massage.  On my drive from LA to Seattle only two weeks from finding out, I checked his feed.  He had posted a picture of them together on twitter.  I texted him.  He swore it wasn’t her.  His mind is so far gone or his other vice has such a grip that I think he believed his own lies.  I had studied her on Google through her posts, her friends posts, work posts, it was absolutely her.  I hadn’t even made it to Seattle yet and there they were together for the world to see.  I completely understand the women behind the stories on Snapped, I get Lorena Bobbitt and that moment in Waiting to Exhale where she loads her cheating husbands car with his clothes and lights it on fire.  There were many parts of my being that wanted to do all that and worse.  It’s nice to know those thoughts and feelings are normal, the choice to act is what separates us from murders and psychopaths.  I never did damage anything of his; I still relish my visions of his motorcycle finding it’s way off a cliff.  Not necessarily with him on it.....any more.  It’s been 2 ½ months since I found out and over a month since I last looked at his or her twitter page.  His tag line on twitter “I make and break dreams one day at a time” my perspective looking from the outside, wow what an egocentric ass.  I married the man that wrote that and he broke a lifetime of dreams.  There is a fire I light  inside myself everyday to live with love, trust and passion.  The bonus, I won’t be a feature story on Snapped and writing this from prison.   Although I see a new career path as a twitter recovery counselor, I am 36 days tweet feed free.