OMG He's Hot!

I was in my yoga class a few weeks ago and there was this amazing man.  Gorgeous muscular body, beautiful rich blue eyes and dirty blond hair.  At first I just appreciated his good looks and after a few moments there were butterflies in my stomach.  I could walk over and ask him out, I am not technically divorced but very separated and single.  Over the years throughout our courtship and marriage I had been in the company of some extraordinary looking men but my heart was married.  While I could appreciate their good looks and sometimes personalities, I never gave it more thought than that.  That is why after eight years of being with the same man and realizing I could approach someone else as a romantic interest, I made myself completely blush.  We are talking bright red face, cheeks tingling and starting to sweat.  I wish he was in my yoga class everyday, I have never sucked in my abs using my uddiyanna bandha so feircly for an hour  and a half.  It’s not like there is yoga spanx!   Of course I worked each pose as if I was on the cover of yoga journal, it was my best class.   I am not even close or in the realm of dating or even a rebound.  The betrayal and living a fake life for eight years is a bit of mind bender.  It sounds naive but to me it would be insincere to date someone while I am still technically married.  Although my husband and his extramarital lover’s one year anniversary is around this time.  It’s so odd to think that they will have been dating at least 16 months before our divorce is final.   How can I be sincere and open with another person while I still possess his last name?  It’s not me, who I am.   The best way to honor myself is to be real to myself and anyone else I chose to interact with in a romantic way.  I look forward to the day I will sit across from an attractive man and flirt.  While I wait patiently to reclaim my name, I will continue to appreciate and positively objectify gorgeous men I see on the streets.  If you see me blushing and holding my uddiyanna bandha there must be a cute guy nearby.